Dating a fat person

As a non-single, fat, polyamorous woman, I can't tell you how often I've been questioned about my confidence, self-worth, who I am, and why I'm into what I'm into.If literally the only reason you are interested in me is because I'm fat, you might want to take a step back and get to know a bit about me first. When you tell me I'm not, what you are really saying is that despite my body size, I'm not all those horrible things you tend to associate with fatness.And, realizing unique attractions is always emotionally difficult.One of the first guys I remember being attracted to after my ‘lesbianism’ was a drifter who was hitting on me on the subway.

On the one hand, as a sex writer, I understand that people are attracted to different things, so I wanted to keep an open mind.I’ve seen similar movements for people with certain types of disabilities, or gender expressions, or whatever.I told a friend I was working on a porn site, and they said “I hope it’s a queer, feminist, body positive porn site” and I was like “that sounds like the least sexy porn site ever.” Actually, I think my exact words were closer to “anything that politically correct would make my tits fall off” but same diff. I keep trying to settle things down, to narrow my field so I can know where to look for people I like.I’ve crushed out on plenty of fat people, and am totally on board with this ‘fat people being desirable’ thing, but there’s a lot about the fat acceptance movement that makes my vagina dry up. It’s not just fat acceptance, it’s any sort of movement designed to convince people they should find a type of person attractive. I get that fat people got a lot of difficult societal pressures on them, and they have to like, deal with this somewhere and if fat acceptance helps that’s great. Yet, there is something just so unsexy about articles telling me fat people are sexy.

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